Thursday, March 27, 2008

Worry is Like a Rocking Chair...

…it gives you something to do but it doesn’t get you anywhere. ~unknown. - Custom comment codes for MySpace, Hi5, Friendster and more Over the years, I have been the world’s biggest worry wart. As a child, I’d get deathly carsick when riding in the mountains but I didn’t want my parents to go riding through the mountains on Sunday afternoon because something might happen and I wouldn’t be there.

After I married and Don began to experience the eye side-effects of a lifetime of diabetes, I began to worry about whether he would see Diana and Kristy marry, never even thinking about whether he would even live to see them marry. My biggest fear was that he would experience some health problem while he was working in the garden or was away from me; therefore, I was making myself sick with worry and didn’t want him out of my sight. If he were 3 minutes late coming from dialysis, I’d be in the bathroom with diarrhea. I was “playing” the part of God in His life…wanting to be in control of every moment and every movement.

After much prayer and giving it over to God numerous times, I finally got over my fear for Don’s safety. The last 18 months of his life, I was able to let go and let God be his caretaker. I found a quote today that says “when I look back on these worries, I remember the story of the old man who said on his deathbed that he had had a lot of trouble in his life, most of which had never happened.” In looking back, I realize now that most of the things I worried about never happened. I spent years “wasting” my worries. I realize also, that the worst things that happen in life are not the worst things when they actually happen. My biggest fear was being left alone to rear two teenage daughters. How could I do it alone? How would we survive? When Don died, and over the next months, I realized that alone we couldn’t do it but with God’s help anything is possible.

II Timothy 1:12b says, “because I know whom I have believed, and am convinced that he is able to guard what I have entrusted to him for that day.” I can’t be God to anybody; I can’t be any person’s protector but He can. My part is to commit my family and friends into God’s hands every day and then place my trust in Him to do just what He has promised to do.

I found another quote today that says, “worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy.” I pray that I portray joy to those around me so that they will wonder at the joy I have in the midst of trials.

Galatians 5: 22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23gentleness and self-control.